Most of us have the habit of saying empty “I’m sorry “, especially in our marriages and relationships. And because of this, apologizing has lost its meaning. We don’t really think deep before we apologize; we do this sometimes to:
- Avoid an argument
- Make our partners feel better
- Cover up our mistakes.
The way you apologize to your partner is extremely important since everyone requires something different to move past an argument. For you, it might be sufficient to hear the words “I’m sorry” and for someone else, the words might be empty. [Click to tweet]
Your language of apology is how you give and receive an “I’m sorry”. There are five languages of apology. They are:
- One of them is asking for forgiveness. This is when the other person only believes that you are truly sorry when you end your apology by saying something like, “Will you forgive me?”
- Another language is after apologizing you make a promise to the other person that you will change and that such a situation will never happen again.
- When you accept responsibility for your mistake, and you are sorry for it. Is the only language of apology that some people understand., it is the language of accepting responsibility.
- For some of us, action speaks louder than words. So the way forward out of an argument is to see the behavior and actions that are designed to make right the wrong that has been done. This is the language of making restitution.
- The fifth form of apology includes showing empathy by expressing regrets about what has happened. An example is saying something like: “I am sorry I hurt your feelings.” This language is called expressing regret.
Identifying the primary apology language of your partner can help to improve your communication. It also helps to avoid unnecessary back-and-forth arguments.
