Retirement is a huge change and can be difficult to adjust to, especially in your relationship with your spouse because they are closest to you. It is normal to experience some emotional changes regarding your spouse after retirement, but you both must work out the differences in your new lives.
After retirement, many married people find it difficult to stay in the same place for long periods because they are used to going to their different places of work in the morning and returning in the evening to spend only a few hours with each other. Having to readjust from this routine that they may have had for years is usually not an easy task.
Now that retirement is in the picture, they may find it difficult to be in the same space all the time and this might lead to many other issues. Thus, the picture they had in mind about retirement may turn out to be quite different from the reality, leading to unexpected issues in their relationships, such as:
- Bouts of depression. A spouse may fall into depression because going to work every day gave him or her a sense of purpose and structure, and the absence of that makes them lose their sense of purpose and become sad. Situations like this are often challenging for the other spouse to deal with.
2. Dwindling finances. After retirement, the flow of income normally reduces, and people react to it in different ways. This sometimes makes it hard for some married couples to decide on what to do and what to forgo, leading to money – related disputes. When this happens, anger and resentment usually set in.
3. Annoying discoveries. Now that both spouses are always together, there may be some behaviours that a spouse has that may be aggravating to the other spouse, such as taking an afternoon nap with the mouth wide open and snoring, eating noisily, or some other traits that may have developed in the process of aging which may not have been glaring before retirement.
These little things are amplified when the couple are together all the time and can lead to serious conflicts in the home.
Couples experiencing some of these issues should acknowledge the reality and the impact it is having on the relationship and act on them. We have discussed practical ways to make your home happy in your golden years.
However, if personal efforts to handle these matters have failed, you may want to consider seeking help to resolve the issues through counseling.
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